I freaking hate Marquez

Gabriel Garcia Marquez. So many people idolize him. I don’t get him. I have read 100 Years of Solitude. Nothing special if you ask me.

I started reading it last year and then again this year and I stopped halfway both times. It’s boring and it’s the type of books I hate. I hate Marquez for the same reason I hate poems – because every word is given a symbolic meaning by readers. Every tiny detail has a huge meaning if you ask people. A lot of my friends love Marquez. If you ask them, they will say that his novels are philosophical and it’s “not for everyone”. No. You know what’s not for everyone? Fuckin’ Trainspotting. Yeah. Both the movie and the book. That’s what’s not for everyone.

The people I know who idolize Marquez are mostly sentimental and romantic girls who love poems and romance and give everything a meaning. There are also people who love him just because he’s Marquez! When these people don’t even understand anything the man wrote. They just know that Marquez is a classic.

I can say exactly the same about Coelho. I have read only The Alchemist and Eleven Minutes.

The Alchemist bored me to death. There is something about Brazilian and Columbian writers that doesn’t appeal to me. Something in their style of writing. I never finished The Alchemist and I never will. It’s boring.

And Eleven Minutes? That’s just porn man. The whole book is about a prostitute who is looking for love thinks that love is painful and so on. It’s filled with erotic scenes and Maria’s boring monologues about why she’s a prostitute and what love means to her. The book is useless, it won’t tell you anything new. This book is made exactly for the sentimental girls, who find Maria’s “tragic” love story romantic and actually quote her.

Excuse me for my harshness, but these two writers don’t appeal to me. They are boring and uninteresting. They don’t teach you anything new. Their books don’t leave “that feeling”.  You know “that” feeling when you read a book and you totally live by it! The story is all you can think about and every character is totally real to you and you are practically depressed when you finish reading. That’s the kind of books that appeal to me. Like Martin Eden, Gadfly, Book Thief and Clockwork Orange. The books were characters do things they thought was impossible. Where the characters are strong in their own way.

Summer Break and Sex and the City

Image

Summer Holidays are supposed to be the best time of the year (except for Christmas break), but not for me. Every year I hope “this summer will be different!”, but it’s always the same: staying at home all day drawing and watching movies, eating ice-cream with girlfriends, going to the country house with only your girlfriends and sitting in the sun all day, maybe go to the beach to Batumi with my family and a few friends. I always wanted at least one summer to be like it is in the movies: being outside all day, going to different places with different people, meeting new people and having summer romances at the beach. But none of this ever happens. So I stopped dreaming for the perfect summer. I stopped thinking about what to do on my birthday when I realized that it was never going to happen. It’s in August, the time when the town is empty and everybody is on a vacation somewhere interesting and none of them have any interest in coming to my country house at the lake because all we do on my birthday is drink coffee and eat cookies and gossip. I have never even had anyone say a toast on my birthday. The presents were always the same: money from my family members, promises of an ipod or a camera from my parents (only promises), some clothes from my sister (only if she is working in summer), and I got Bob Dylan’s illustrated book from my girlfriends last year. They had never given me a present before, because they were never there on my birthday.

This year, when I don’t want to see anyone on my birthday and just sit home and get my birthday money, everyone started begging for me to celebrate my B-day. This is the irony of life. You stop waiting for something to happen – and it happens! The only thing I want on my birthday this year is for that special someone to give me something special, or at least tell me something special. But it won’t happen, because I’m actually waiting for it to happen.

One thing I learnt and I want everyone to learn – never have high hopes for anything, so you don’t get disappointed. I know that feeling you get when someone tell you your favorite band is coming to town, or your crush has a crush on you, or your parents tell you that they will buy you a camera. You want to scream and shout and jump around, but then you feel stupid when all of this turns out to be a lie. So never be happy about anything until you are sure it has happened.

Let’s get back to summer vacations. How I’m spending my summer? Watching sex and the city – the best show ever made. My sister is away for a few days so I’m all alone and my introversion has gone even deeper. Some of my friends are in town, but I keep telling them I’m not, because I got so used to sitting in my room, watching movies and shows and not caring about how I look, that when I actually go outside, I will start feeling like an alien.

Now, about Sex and the City. It’s not only good for girls, but guys as well. None of the guys I know like this show. They think it’s stupid, dumb and slutty at times. What they don’t understand is that it’s the most realistic TV series to ever air. It shows what women think about men, relationships, other women, sex and so on. It shows how women have fun. It tell us about sex from a woman’s perspective. Men should understand that they are not the only ones interested in sex – women also have the need. Women also talk to their girlfriends about their partners and one-night stands. That doesn’t make us slutty. Men and women are equal is the matters of sex and the need for sex. A woman can have sex everyday, just like a man. She can have sex with a guy she barely knows and actually enjoy it. Women can actually have fun without men.

Image

The best thing about SATC is that we can relate to every character and relationship. Whenever I see 4 girls walking together, I start assuming that they have already figured out which one of them is Carrie, Samantha, Miranda or Charlotte. Me and my friends have done that a hundred times, while there were for of us. Now there is 5. I was always Samantha. Not because of what I did, but because of what I said. Despite the fact that the 4 of us where or virgins back then and I had never been with a guy in any way, I sounded the most experienced of all. Because I have watched porn, masturbated, I know that sex is not just “sticking it in”, there is a lot more going on. My girlfriends were totally unaware of all that.

But now, I feel like Carrie. We have totally switched roles. The one who used to be Carrie has found her “Mr. Big” and is in  a happy relationship with him. The type of relationship were saying “I love you” isn’t a big deal anymore. I guess we all feel like Carrie when we are in search for a perfect partner, but always have that one Mr. Big on our minds. Mr. Big is the person who makes you feel weak and every time you see him, you go dumb and suddenly your desire for anything sexual increases. Big is the person you can’t resist, even if you have a special someone in your life, Big will always come and mess up your life and feelings and then disappear again.

Image

Sex and the City is a lot smarter than people imagine. They think it’s just women talking about sex and acting like whores, but there is a lot more to the show. You have to watch it before you hate it. It will make you cry, it will make you laugh, it will make you want to call your crush, it will make you want to spend more time with you girlfriends. I have watched the show a hundred times, I have all the episodes on my laptop, and I still watch it everyday. I never get tired.

P.S “the lunch with girls” is the best thing on the show. Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte sitting in the cafe, drinking coffee and talking about the sex they had the night before makes you want to do the exact same thing with your girls.

Image