How I became what I am now

I ask a girl named Mary:(who calls herself a musicians just because she plays a bit of guitar, sings along and loves Pink Floyd.

-When did your love for music begin?

And guess what she answered:

-I was 10 months old when I sang along as my grandmother sang a lullaby for me.

And she says that with that very innocent, I-am-so-kind face, which I hate and it makes me want to punch her in a face. Sang along her ganny’s lullaby when she was 10 months?! I did that too, so what? That didn’t make a musician. I sang along many other songs when I was a kid, and loved playing the piano and singing stupid Russian songs which were extremely famous in the 90s.

I someone asked me when my love for art and drawing began, I wouldn’t fuckin’ say “Oh when I was still a toddler I used to doodle a lot hahahahaha”. NO!

Ask me now and I’ll tell you that it all began when stumbled upon a website, where they post all kinds of drawings and illustrators by not so famous artists. I don’t even now the name of it anymore. But I wasn’t a fuckin toddler when that happened! I was 15 or something like that. Until then I hadn’t even thought of going into art seriously. I just loved doodling and scribbling. It all got bigger when I learnt about Andy Warhol. That’s where I knew for sure what I wanted, and realized what my true love in life was. And I was 16 for chrissake. Not 10 months old!

I always get the same replies from people as Mary’s.

-How did your love for writing come?

-Oh, I just watched as my father (a writer) used to write when I was 2 years old or something, I hadn’t even read what he had written, I just loved it!

*A huge sigh*. Both of my parents are pediatricians. All of my life I have been living in a house smelling of Aspirin, Panadol and Rivotril. I have watched a thousand times how my father goes away to work every 2 weeks. I have seen tons of medical books, heard millions of medical phrases and words, and heard thousands of little kids’ cries as I called my mom to work. I was always surrounded by Medicine, but I never thought about becoming a medic myself.

Okay, if you have a talent for things and your parents did the same things, then it’s kinda okay to say that. But when you have never written until the age of 13 how the fuck can you say that you loved writing?! Just because your dad used to write. So what. My dad injected a needle into my sister’s b**tt and I saw how it’s done but I didn’t say that after that I wanted to become a doctor. If I had a thing for Medicine, I would say that. But I don’t. And the majority of people of keep giving me the same answers over and over again don’t have it either. They just love telling sentimental stories of how they became what they are now.

Let me end this punctually incorrect and aggressive post with one sentence.

You didn’t become a musician because you sang lullabies at the age of 10 months, you became a musician becauseĀ  maybe you found a Pink Floyd CD in your dad’s collection, or saw Morrissey singing This Charming Man, or discovered the Bristol underground scene and it’s artists like Tricky, Massive Attack and Portishead. You become what you are by all the experience you gather throughout the years and all the things you discover on your way.